The Virtuous Cycle of Maintaining, Using, and Decluttering Our Stuff
One thing I end up repeating like a broken record when I’m working with people on decluttering is some variant of “If you get it to the point where it’s functional, then you’ll learn so much about what you actually use”.
It’s really true! I’ve seen it again and again—the things people use when all of their options are all easily accessible at the same aren’t necessarily the ones they use when their options are jumbled up and hard to access.
Back when I didn’t have much of a laundry routine, I had lots of kid clothes and I thought my kids didn’t have enough clothes! Now that I do laundry every Monday, I know that my kids tend to reach for the same clothes first every week, and we have plenty! (My kids know this better too, and they tend to have an easy time deciding what to keep and what to let go of when we go through their clothes.)
When I’m not in the habit of doing regular 5 minute pickups in our playroom, I very quickly lose track of what my kids are actually playing with the most. If some toys sit unused on the shelves for weeks, that’s a clue that those probably aren’t my kids’ favorites, but I’ve also know that the kids also don’t necessarily properly process what on the shelves when the floors are full. And I can’t necessarily tell at a glance whether the toys that are all over the floor are there because someone was playing with them for hours, or because someone dumped them out all the figurines to find the one they were really looking for. There also seem to be some toys we have that my kids want to arrange a certain way when they see them, but never result in longer, more extended play.1 When I am keeping up with 5 minute pickups in the playroom though, the whole system tends to work pretty well. I can pack up or donate the things that aren’t resulting in fulfilling play, my kids can pick from a pleasant array of options and learn what they really like, and our overall stress level is reduced.
If you’re overwhelmed by your stuff, you may recognize the not-so-happy pattern I’m describing and feel demoralized. If so, I get it! I’ve been there before, and I still go there myself sometimes, in different areas of my house. But for the same reasons that make having too much stuff overwhelming also mean that you may well build decluttering momentum faster than you would ever think.
And if you don’t see the path from here to there, and you want someone to talk you through it, I might be able to help.
Which isn’t to say I think the arranging and then leaving it there play has no value. I’m sure it has some! But it seems intuitive to me that it has less value than the toys that keep them occupied for hours. And those sorts of toys can also result in a bunch of frustration, when another household member inevitably messes up the arrangement.